Maybe it’s the way their hand feels in yours. Maybe it’s the way you crave endless time with them, even though you’ve spent the whole weekend with them already. Maybe it’s the way the sound of their voice sounds, or the smell of their hair smells. Maybe it’s the feeling you get when they message you out of the blue, or how your heart jumps at the mention of their name.
Whether you’ve experienced some of all of these feelings- feelings so strong they truly can’t even be articulated in just words– you feel like that time has finally come. That moment everyone talks about, dreams and fantasizes about. That moment that you’ve thought, before this moment, was only a pipe dream that occurs in fairy tales and Hollywood movies.
You think, “This is the one. This is my soul mate.“
Drawing from personal experience, I believe that soul mates are real. Here’s why:
I believe with every fiber of my being that Jenn and I are soul mates. I never believed soul mates were real before I met her- not on purpose, I just didn’t think about it. I viewed the concept of ‘soul mates’ with the same lens as I viewed fairy tales, as many others do.
Jenn’s and My Story
Our journey towards coming together certainly was not an easy one. When we met through mutual friends, I was dating a guy I had been with for about four years. Not a bad guy, but by this time I was definitely doubting if he was the one or not. Did I mention that before Jenn, I had only dated men? I never considered having a serious relationship with a woman, however I did have the occasional interest to ‘mess around’, if you will, with a woman. But not have a serious relationship… never that.
Then I met her. It was like all of my quiet wishes had been answered. We were extremely fast friends- but that was all that was within reach for a while. When we met, not only was I currently dating a guy like I mentioned earlier, but she was married to a man she had been with for 8 years.
The next several months consisted of us growing close as ‘good friends’ and me battling these inner feelings of wanting to be with her every second of the day, of dreaming about her every night. I felt that ‘stuck’ feeling in my current relationship and I dealt with the confines of accepting that we would never be together because she was married, for god’s sake. And, what, was I lesbian now? How would my parents feel about that? I had only ever dated men… but we’re just good friends and she was my first best girl friend I had had since kindergarten so this is okay, right? It was an extremely confusing time for me, but one thing was for sure- I would stay ‘just friends’ with Jenn forever, if it meant I could always have her in my life.
Fast forward a bit, after I confessed my feelings to Jenn, after I broke up with my boyfriend, after I moved in with Jenn and her husband while I got my financial and living situations in order (yikes), after I moved out of their house and finally, after Jenn separated from her husband… we finally found our way to each other and decided to take the leap and start this new chapter despite the potential consequences- together.
The truth is, there was just not going to be anything in the Universe that would keep us from being together. In hindsight, this is the first sign that we were soul mates. But, this was not the only sign. Being with Jenn has brought to my attention more and more signs that soul mates exists.
So here they are- some telltale signs that that special person is, in fact, your soul mate:
You want to be better.
Being around this person makes you want to be a better person than you ever were before. Whether that means being braver, more tolerant, or in my case- kinder. The first time Jenn and I spent time together one on one was at a park, very soon after we had just met for the first time. I remember feeling so comfortable and I acted with more kindness that I ever had with anyone else in my whole life. And it was so easy, I didn’t even have to try. Before I met Jenn I had a tendency to be guarded and as a result, I wrote people off because they were probably judging me anyway. But with Jenn, I didn’t feel that way. And the kindness just flowed, I didn’t have to even try. It just happened. Since then, I’ve become an overall kinder and more tolerant person with everyone else in my life too.
You find you and your partner are thinking the same thing at the same time.
This happens a lot to Jenn and me. We’ll be driving in the car together or taking a walk and I’ll be thinking one thing and one second later, Jenn says exactly what I was just thinking. It happens so often- at least a couple times a day. This is a good sign that you’re soul mates because, as a result of your compatibility in the Universe, your energies synergize so well that you and your soulmate ‘ride the same energy wavelength’, as I like to put it.
You’re excited about life again.
Too often we’re stuck in relationships where everything is just so meh. And what’s more is that maybe you’ve been in this relationship so long that that meh feeling is so second nature that you don’t even realize it’s there anymore and you just settle into this dull life that’s too comfortable, riddled with little growth or excitement. But this isn’t the case with your soulmate. With a soulmate, that cycle is broken. Your life suddenly becomes overflowing with light, color, excitement. You feel alive, you start thinking introspectively. You’re excited to wake up in the morning, to live life, to be you.
You love everything about them- smells and quirks and all!
Every little thing about your soulmate draws you in. Even the things that some would categorize as ‘gross’- for example, their natural body odor! Maybe with a standard partner you might think, please just… take a shower. But your soulmate’s scent is designed with you in mind. So if you ever find yourself going out of your way to get a whiff of your partners natural smell, they might be your soulmate!
Also worth mentioning is that you do not love your soul mate in spite of their quirks, but you love those quirks along with the good and easy things you love about them. For example: Sometimes Jenn has trouble listening (albeit she’s gotten a lot better!). Even though it gets on my nerves at times, at the end of the day it’s just another thing that makes her, her. And because of that, I love that too.
You feel an undeniable gravitational pull towards them.
Remember how I mentioned that nothing in the Universe would keep Jenn and I apart? This sign ties into that. The Universe wants you and your soul mate to be together. This pull you feel towards them is a product of that. I’m not just talking missing them when they’re gone, either. Anyone can miss someone they like. I’m talking this pull that’s so strong, you can almost visualize it in your mind’s eye. It’s a pull that nothing can stop, or break.
You love each other no matter what state you both are in.
Jenn and I have had arguments before. Everyone, even soul mates, have arguments at one point. This is undeniable and anyone who says otherwise is wrong. But even in times where Jenn and I have felt our lowest- whether she was feeling worthless, or I made a mistake that I felt I just couldn’t come back from, we were there for each other and we felt nothing less than deep love, concern, and care for each other. Our personal mental states, no matter how strongly it felt we were succumbing to them at the time, had nothing on our love for each other. No matter what personal battles we’ve fought, or arguments we’ve had, we still acted as a unit and, thus, our bond was and has always been unbreakable.
You won’t let anything get in the way of you being together.
Another reiteration of that gravitational pull the Universe puts into place for soul mates. There were countless barriers between Jenn and I when we first met. As I mentioned earlier, Jenn was married and I was in a relationship when we met. We were afraid of a hundred things at once- what our families would think, if it was just an exciting fling that we should maybe avoid. But in the end, we broke through those barriers together because we just knew in our hearts that we couldn’t and wouldn’t let anything keep us apart. There will often be barriers or reasons why you think you and your soul mate shouldn’t be together, but it’s up to you to follow your hearts, follow the will of the Universe, and do whatever it takes to pave the way to you and your soul mate to being together. Just remember, this is only a test- and something this special often does not come easy.
Everything seems to align.
This isn’t to say that you and your soul mate share every single desire in life in common. But there’s no denying the impact of natural compatibility. This might look like having just the right amount of things in common while also maintaining differentiating personal goals or interests. But even in those differentiating factors, you have a desire to support your partner and want those things for them too.
This also looks like a compatibility in personality. For example, Jenn and I are able to communicate because Jenn likes to talk and I like to listen. Another good example is feeling a balance between your personalities. When we’re going through a rough time, one is able to be strong when the other is weak. Being happy in a relationship relies a lot on balance and between two soul mates, there’s a lot of it.
You feel that spark the first time you meet.
This is one of the most subtle signs of coming in contact with your soul mate. Make no mistake- you might not even notice it until much later. It may look like an instant connection, or becoming fast friends. As much as it’s a cliche, you might feel as though you’ve known each other for years or in past lives. You feel a level of comfort with them that you’ve only felt with extremely close friends or family members that you’ve cultivated relationship with for years, or maybe you’ve never even felt so comfortable with someone before. This is because there is a good chance that in previous lives, you’ve known and loved each other before.
They fulfill what you wanted before you knew you wanted it.
I remember when I was still with my boyfriend before I met Jenn, I was driving in my car and I was imagining, for fun, my perfect partner. I visualized an Asian girl who was kind, outgoing, funny, and up for anything. I kid you not, this was what came to my mind. At the time I felt afraid because I was already in a long-term relationship and I thought maybe I would never get this.
Lo and behold, some time later, I met Jenn. She just fell into my life- through mutual friends of my boyfriend at the time, no less. The truth is that the Universe knows what we want, and what we need. And if we’re able to release ourselves from the constraints of the material world, our true wants and desires will surface and, eventually, be gifted to us by the Universe. We just have to just trust in it- and in ourselves. It’s then that everything will align, and all will be right.