We’ve all met that certain someone at some point in our life- that person that being around makes us feel mentally and emotionally drained.
These people, sometimes referred to energy vampires, are named for their ability to ‘suck’ the positive energy out of a situation or space (or even you). They might come in the form of a coworker, a family member, or a complete stranger. After spending even just a short amount of time around them, you can feel your energy levels depleting- physically, spiritually, and emotionally.
The good news is that it’s easy to spot an energy vampire if you know the right things to look for. It’s also easy to know what to do once you inevitably come in contact with one. Below, we will go over the knowledge needed to both spot an energy vampire and how to protect your energy from one.
Spotting an Energy Vampire
- A person who over-complains. This also includes someone who seems to manage to respond in almost every situation or conversation with a negative comment.
- A person who is overly judgemental. I believe that due to our human nature, we are all a little judgemental here or there at some point in our lives, but this person takes it to the next level by relentlessly judging or making fun of others for the smallest things. Sometimes this is done to get a laugh, or simply just to express their harsh opinions.
- Someone who is overly dramatic, or tries to always stir up drama. This person loves to create a turbulent situation or push the boundaries in order to create an uncomfortable situation- sometimes because they want to feel powerful, sometimes because they feed off of that negative energy, and other times because they may want to create an opportunity for others to be as unhappy as they are. This can be very subtle sometimes, so look out for this. Stay clear if you detect this, listen to your instincts, and definitely try not to also feed into it- as tempting as it may be.
- Someone who never takes responsibility. This person is also often guilty of shifting the blame from themselves and onto someone or something else. This may come in the traditional form of minimizing their mistakes by maximizing someone else’s mistakes, or simply making excuses. Something else in this vain that may occur is the energy vampire taking any opportunity to do or say anything they can to make you feel bad for them.
- They only care about interacting with you when they need something. This would only apply to someone who is a friend or family member. Consider this situation: A friend or family member is often uncaring, indifferent, or even rude towards you. However, a situation arises where you have something (knowledge, advice, resources) that this person needs or wants. You offer these things to them, and they take them. Afterwards, things return to ‘normal’ and this person is back to treating you indifferently or rudely as if nothing has changed. While I encourage giving to others without expecting anything in return, this is a classic example of someone using your positive energy for purely selfish reasons.
What to Do When You Come in Contact with an Energy Vampire
Ideally, the easy answer is to leave the area they are in or to cut them out of your life completely. There is no shame in this and this is not a ‘weak’ thing to do, as you are entitled to protect yourself, your energy, and your joy. There is no need to subject yourself to this toxic behavior, energy, and/or disrespect.
Sometimes there will be a situation where you cannot leave the area or cut out this person completely- especially if it’s a coworker, friend, or family member. In these cases, limit as much time you spend around them as possible. Before interacting, practice preparing yourself and your energy for what it’s about to endure. When the time comes to interact with this person, try your hardest to not only ignore their own negative energy, but to not let their negative energy affect your own positive energy. Let your positive energy shine through as brightly as possible.
Lastly, do not try to change an energy vampire’s energy by fighting or questioning it outwardly, or even subtly suggesting for this person to change their perspective/behavior. This will most likely do no good, but instead it may further drain your energy and let you down if it doesn’t work. In some cases, it may also incite defensive behavior, which will lead the person to become even more unpleasant. For the good of your own pure energy and the pure energy around you, it is best to take an energy vampire’s negative energy with a grain of salt as long as you have to be around this person, while focusing only on exuding your own positive energy.